The Use of Therapy with Chronic Illness
My own experience with therapy as a Fibromyalgia sufferer.
Trigger Warning: Mentions of sensitive topics such as: self-harm, eating disorders, depression, suicide, etc.
I saw a post earlier today on Reddit about a user who was recently diagnosed with fibromyalgia and their rheumatologist referring them to cognitive behavioral therapy.
Immediately, I knew I had to respond.
I know what people in the chronic illness community tend to think when their doctor recommends therapy. I used to be angry, wanting to shout at them that it isn’t all in my head.
And it’s not all in my head but dealing with my emotional and mental well-being was honestly a life changer.
A little back story:
I got sick when I was around 12 and wasn’t diagnosed until 23 (last year).
I got sick at the worst time imaginable because my family was dealing with a lot of financial issues that same year. I was also a kid struggling with issues of self-esteem and self-worth on multiple fronts and managed to believe that my family didn’t believe me even when there was no evidence to support that.
I struggled with depression, anxiety, possibly ADHD on top of that, self-harm, and an eating disorder.
Sprinkle on an undiagnosed and extremely painful chronic health condition that I didn’t know was going to be life-long yet…
Well, let’s just say I was going through it.
At some point though, I started doing “self-therapy” — mostly because I felt like a burden asking my family for a therapist, and also because I didn’t feel comfortable talking to a therapist to begin with.
“Self-therapy” saved my life, but I will never recommend self-therapy over real therapy with a professional who knows what they are doing.
And if you want to look for an affordable counselor whether in your area or remotely, check out this directory. This link isn’t to something like BetterHelp (which frankly, I kind of have problems with anyway). It’s just a free directory to help you look for affordable therapy.
Here’s what happened:
I broke negative ways of thinking, and while I can’t be “positive” 100% of the time, I generally feel like I have healthy forms of thinking nearly 100% of the time currently.
Basically, I broke thought patterns that resulted in anxiety, that triggered self-harm and unhealthy eating habits, and more.
I still struggled with anxiety and over-eating too much for a while after that, but I later found out that I rarely had anxious thoughts and when I did, it was as a result of tachycardia, not causing my tachycardia¹ (which I now have medication for finally) and the over-eating has clearly been a result from possible ADHD²
I no longer have anxiety.
I no longer have depression.
I haven’t self-harmed in…well, I don’t count the years tbh.
But I no longer have an eating disorder.
And I no longer hate myself.
I no longer feel like a burden.
I no longer want to kill or hurt myself.
Self-therapy helped me break free, and professional therapy + self-therapy techniques helped me accept my illness.³
But the biggest shock of all was how much self-therapy ended up affecting my pain levels.
It. Dropped. Significantly.
I still have moments of pain, but it’s not nearly as painful as it used to be.
And honestly, I still can’t hold down a part-time job at the moment, but that’s not because of the pain — it’s because of neurological symptoms, but I am getting treatment so I can live a full life.⁴
It took a long fucking time, and it was hard work.
Therapy is badass.
So coming from a chronic illness sufferer, don’t discount it.
But don’t let it be your only form of treatment either.
But first…
What kind of therapy?
I can’t say with certainty that one type of therapy is better than the other, but here is what I know for sure: Having a positive mindset isn’t the goal here.
You aren’t supposed to go to therapy so you can be grateful and be positive about every bad card handed to you.
That’s not even what therapy is about.
Go to therapy to learn better skills to cope and to handle situations.
Go to therapy to accept your illness because trust me, it is exactly like the stages of grief⁵
Go to therapy to learn de-catastrophizing skills.
Go to therapy to learn how to stop dissociating so much because it’s the reason why you don’t notice a new symptom, let alone how long you have been dealing with a new symptom, because of dissociation and you don’t get the medical help early enough.
Go because stress and depression makes your pain and other symptoms significantly more worse.
According to this reddit post, cognitive behavioral therapy was not the answer for them, but DBT was.
For someone else, the answer might be different, like hypnosis, or other forms of therapy.
What other treatment should I consider besides therapy?
Some things that have helped me:
- Slowly transition into eating cleaner and avoid eating the foods that are making you more sick.⁶ I’m not saying to suddenly start eating a totally clean diet. I’m telling you to slowly transition.⁷
- Drink water (with a dash of salt, you shouldn’t even taste it) and drink your electrolytes. Seriously. You wouldn’t believe how much a difference this makes for some people.
- Slowly incorporate exercise, but be particular with the type of exercise and never go overboard.⁸
- Notice your triggers. Things like: food, lack of electrolytes, temperature, elevation, exercise, etc.
- Notice your patterns.⁹
- Do your research. For example, I am now more open to trying monthly IV therapy infusions to see if it helps with my symptoms.
- Journal.
I want to hear from you
Do you have a chronic illness, and have you tried therapy? Have you had a good or bad experience?
The After Thoughts
¹Anxiety can cause high heart rate, especially panic attacks. However, after self-therapy and professional therapy, I basically had no actual anxiety, and it was strictly medical tachycardia with an unknown cause. I know take medication for it.
²I actually am seeing a psychiatrist in 2 weeks, so I’m refraining from saying “I have ADHD” despite the fact that technically, I match the criteria in the DSM and also, my entire family (minus my poor dad and maybe my sister) has symptoms of ADD/ADHD and my mother was diagnosed with ADD as a child.
³I honestly feel so proud writing this.
⁴I have such a long way to go, and maybe when I figure everything out I’ll write an article about everything I did that helped me…which I’m sure will be a long article.
⁵The stages are grief have no order in the real world. The order varies by person, and can be random and be expressed in a multitude of ways.
⁶So funny story…it wasn’t until my pain significantly lessoned that I realized I was allergic to certain foods, had asthma, and also had allergies to certain medication. When I was sick, I would eat or take something and not notice I was having an allergic reaction or an asthma attack because I felt like that all the time. I wasn’t even diagnosed with asthma until I was 20 for this very reason, and I didn’t realize I was allergic to my own inhaler until 22 or 23.
⁷I love pasta and I slowly transitioned to eating healthier noodles (konjac noodles, miracle noodles, gluten free noodles, veggie noodles). If I still like the way it tastes, I’m way more likely to keep eating the healthier version.
⁸I have a low exercise tolerance which is frankly super annoying coming from someone who used to do sports and likes doing things like dance and hiking. I just have to be careful what I do and for how long or else I risk a bad flare up.
⁹Turns out a lot of things trigger every time my period comes around, including my (possible) ADHD symptoms.
